The calm before the semester

During my week off I have….

  • Taken Gracie to the dogpark and negotiated some sort of walk after (she wants to go to the p-a-r-k, I say we just went there last week….she usually wins)
  • Cleaned the bejeezus out of my room. Around 20 books, 6 bags of trash, 2 bags of clothing, and enough dust to build a small diorama of the pyramids at Giza if you piled it up and mixed it with water and glue. It feels awesome to have all the books and DVDs and jewelry all sorted away. I just need to find a home for my vanity (PSST DO YOU WANT TO BUY A VANITY?!) so I can get a desk and one more smallish bookcase, and my 2012 Vision of My Room will be complete.
  • Stepped up my active participation in my recovery. Last semester I let school and luuuuuve take precedence over self-care and personal work and….it didn’t end well.
  • Rediscovered some of the quietness that lets me get things done (HAHAHA QUIETNESS, YOU? SERIOUSLY?) No really! Not…not external quietness, necessarily, but the internal kind where I can go to sleep without a movie on and wake up without 3 alarms and generally keep the Crazybrain’s interference to a minimum. I’m sure this will last all of 10 minutes but so it goes.
  • Resisted the internalized pressure to make any kind of resolution regarding my weight or diet. I know lots of people on my friends lists and um, everywhere else, are making great strides for their health and setting goals for themselves and I like that the new Weight Watchers ads are all empowerful minded. But for me, that kind of thinking is totally effing toxic. Body acceptance has been more valuable to me than any kind of diet plan, cosmetic improvement goal or self-shaming motivation. I hated my body for a long time. I don’t hate it any more because I refuse to hate it. It’s not going anywhere and as long as my health is good there is nothing wrong with it. Not with my squashy tummy, not with my round face, not with my solid legs or my round hips. So there.

My workshop this semester is already beginning – three people (all of whom I think are second years, aaaaah) have already emailed their essays around to be discussed on Tuesday for the first class. I signed up to turn something in on Tuesday. Since I have just read 3 essays by second years, I am now having trouble finding something to write. Suspect I may be masquerading omadhaun just pretending to be a writer.

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2 Responses to The calm before the semester

  1. I remember the “calm before the semester” when I was still studying at Penn State. It’s an odd feeling because you know you have so much waiting ahead of you, yet you can start any of it right now.

    • mkpheartsnyc says:

      Exactly! I mean, I can keep writing around the clock, but the daily life of class and workshops and schedules and reading is all just in a holding pattern. For four more days, anyway 😛

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