I am a fan of awards shows, I here avow unrepentantly. Yes they are tedious and awkward, but as I said on Monday, I really like watching celebrities crack up when things don’t go well.

So to that end, K-Cup and Gracie and I are having what sort of feels like almost an annual thing – OSCAR PALOOZA. We did it mildly successfully once before back in ye olde Year of our Jackman 2009, so this here’s the planning headquarters for the 2011 Edition.

First, Oscar Bingo. I think we should play with M&Ms, but I never made it to the end of a single M&M math lesson with my counting tools intact, so maybe we’ll just use pens.

Second, Oscar Ballots. Some vote with their souls, other with the cynical eye on “what will win” or whatever. That’s between you and your Jackman.

Thirdly: Thematic Oscar Nominee Food Selections About Which I Am Almost Entirely All Talk. I really really like to brainstorm what I’d serve in honor of each best picture nominee:

  • True Grit: Cheese grits, duh. Or since I cannot possibly make those, I dunno. Bear for that creepy doctor guy? Weren’t the louts in the cabin eating stew?
  • Social Network: Cheetos. See, because they’re nerds. Or as MamaMKP helpfully pointed out, because they’re all trying to cheat eachother.
  • Toy Story 3: Jelly beans. The secret ingredient in Bonnie’s tea party.
  • The King’s Speech: Marbles because the first speech therapist made Colin Firth go all Liza Doolittle. Or tea. If you’re “traditional.” [ETA: Fish and chips…from Chip shop? Don’t mind if I do!]
  • Inception: I was thinking Japanese food. Or airplane food. OOH! I know. Jelly donuts, because you have to get the jelly inside and make it seem like it came from the donut itself? I am a genius. I don’t expect to be understood in my own time. [ETA: Ethereal cotton candy]
  • The Kids Are Alright: Julianne fries, partly to honor Julianne Moore and partly to reference the best joke from Aladdin.
  • The Fighter: Sheet cake with blue frosting that I’ll have to go give to some heroin addicts
  • Black Swan: Black and white cookies. ALTERNATIVELY, a cake that’s half pink and swirly and has ballet shoes and half blue with boxing gloves, so both movies can share the dessert course, as it were. As if I was being so classy as to have courses. Well, I could have a cheese grits course. And a friend suggested sherbet scooped to look like marbles. To cleanse your palate.
  • Winter’s Bone: Short ribs
  • 127 Hours: Chicken wings (GET IT? Because of his ARM) [ETA: slow-braised pulled pork shmaybe?]
  • Tangled (Best Animated feature that I LOVED that was not Toy Story 3): Angelhair pasta

Further brainstorming suggestions? Those of you with culinary experience have a sad but necessary dose of reality to add to my vision? BRING IT.

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One Response to OSCAR PALOOZA

  1. Amy says:

    Toy Story 3: Also an opportunity for cocktails — fantastic if you aren’t too bashful to make two, and call one Buzz and the other Woody.

    The Kings Speech: Fish and chips! Traditional English pub fare (and easy to say.)

    Inception: Cotton candy — very ethereal and dreamy. See also: Anything with caramel.

    The Kids Are Alright: Julienned (Julianne!) sweet potato fries with turkey burger sliders. Something different, yet AWESOME. (get it? Also makes julienne fries! Will not break!)

    The Fighter: Homemade sushi. Seafood = Boston = Marky Mark’s hometown. Plus it has lots of protein to make you strong like bull.

    Black Swan: Black forest cake, or black forest cheesecake. Because, obvs, any excuse to eat either of those.

    Winter’s Bone: Short ribs are fantastic! Braised!

    127 Hours: Go with something you can do in a crockpot/slow-cooker (get it?). Pulled pork!

    Tangled: Angel hair pasta is perfect.

    Also, invite me. 🙂

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