I’m one of them now….

Just a few weeks ago I was mocking those show-offs who rode their bikes to the gym, exercised, and then rode their bikes home, the cocky jackasses…. and suddenly just a little while in to my own bike ownership, I’ve joined their ranks. 

But it’s not like I’m mountain biking through the Grand Canyon and then leaping up the steps to the cardio machines to crank out a quick half marathon! Honest! 

Biking for me is just transportation, not exercise. This is half because it is so freaking stressful, what with the cars and people and jerkfaces who park half in the bus stop area and half in the bike lane…. and half because my body still registers bike-based movement as a travesty against the ways of the universe and ramps my heart up to like, eleventy beats a second. You may remember the cruelty of this particular YMCA, which makes you go up 3 flights of stairs just to get anywhere at all. My knees do not appreciate this feet of engineering after a half-mile bike ride. 

Oh, speaking of science (by which you mean…stairs?) did you guys know that when you ride a bike your legs don’t actually go all the way around? They pretty much just go up and down and your ankles take care of all the rotation business. Physics!

In my head, biking was basically running while propped up on little pedals. 

I’m finally getting comfortable again, the way I was as a kid with my various hot pink and pastel green bikes. I used to ride around my little neighborhood streets with my neighborhood rabble friends and we’d cross our legs to stand on one pedal and prop our feet on our handlebars and stop and go and turn left with wild abandon. Today I turned left, went around two trucks and a bus and stopped at 5 intersections without falling over. 

Also, I bought bike locks! They are kind of elaborate, and when I’m in my typical post-bike quake state (it’s like I’m enclosed in an MKP-sized pocked of really, really cold air.) I feel like a total tool locking my front wheel to my frame and combination locking the whole thing to the bike rack.

But then i see those people who carry their front wheels around with them, looking like they just ax-murdered and dismantled a bicycle enemy. 

And I feel ok. 

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