So this weekend found me volunteering at Planned Parenthood…where absolutely NOTHING more scandalizing than two freaking Great Danes walking their owner determinedly around the block happened. TWO Danes. In a LES apartment. Where do you put all your stuff?! I was all psyched up for some rosary procession and we got bupkiss.
Afterwards I dashed back to Park Slope to meet up with some friends, wheedle a French bakery owner out of a slice of marble pear cake (all I had to do was pay him for it!), drink way too much coffee, and show up at the Borough Hall to help build Marty Markowitz’s Brooklyn Pride float. Oh, you don’t know Marty Markowitz? I do, see, on account of I built his float.
He’s Brooklyn’s – you have heard of this borough Brooklyn? – Brooklyn’s Borough President. He’s the one responsible for the "Fuhgeddaboudit" sign when you get off the Verazano Narrows bridge. Yes, that Marty Markowitz.
My Do Gooder buddy Mike hooked me up with a volunteer opportunity, so we decorated a truck with pin wheels and pride flags and the awesomest assortment of ribbons I have ever tied to a …what’re the bars in front of a big truck called? Surely it’s not a cow-catcher in this day and age, but you get the idea. Or in case you don’t, here’s a picture:
We all met back up at the start of the parade route. I was ridiculously early so I loitered in Blockbuster until the local yokels casual homophobia drove me out (and I was just about to buy 17 Again and four other movies I don’t want for $20, too...) with their observations like "Did you notice gays aren’t even ashamed anymore? They’re all, holding hands and shit, right in the street." For a second I wondered what part of Park Slope he thought he was in, exactly, then remembered that past 9th street it’s more gritty than the rainbow-bedecked Slope sections of 5th Ave.
Mike, or Mahone-dawg, as he insisted on calling himself, (Aloud. In public. It was awful. It’s like people with ridiculous self-coined nicknames aren’t even ashamed anymore.) gave me a super cool summery fedora-like hat to wear and we hopped on the truck with Brooklyn Borough President Marty Markowitz and some other close personal acquaintances of his. We danced, we waved, we shouted and whooped. Marty was tossing off Pride slogans like a pro, even the woefully incorrect "LGBT spells Brooklyn"…. The City Council member who was also riding with us turned around to ask what we’d like Marty to say on our behalf, and it took me a minute to settle on it, but eventually I tapped him on the shoulder and suggested "Gay Rights are Human Rights." It was a little pithier than "Legalize Gay Marriage Because What Straights have, Gays deserve" so people were actually chanting it at one point.
Basically the day rocked. Sure I was on going on 3 hours of sleep and 4 cups of iced coffee. And sure we bopped on over to the after party and danced until 2 am at which point we went to Juniors and had pancakes and so I got home at 3 and slept for twelve hours and couldn’t unbend my knees when I finally woke up….
But Pride was great, seeing friends from the neighborhood was great, feeling totally at home in Brooklyn was beyond the beyond.
And of course, meeting Brooklyn Borough President Marty Markowitz. Me and New York City dignitaries. We go together like cawffee and cannolli.