Anyway, I had a couple of different posts prepared in my mindgrapes for today….
New anthropological discoveries – “My Awesome Girlfriend” Guy, “I’m so Shy I’m Interesting” Guy, “If We’d Only Met 6 Months Ago” Guy, “If We’d Only Met 6 Months from Now” Guy…..
Adventures in personal reinvention: I cut off about 12 inches of hair. Well, I paid someone to do it. Someone who, being a Newyorker who’s very good at her job, tried to subtly sell me on getting it colored. When I positively guffawed at the idea of going blonde, ever, even for five minutes as a joke, she laughed too and told me a story about when she dyed hers copper and what a nightmare it was. A few minutes later one of her colleagues came over to tell me that not everyone could pull off the shorter look, but I had a cute face so it would definitely work on me. But you know what would be even better? Some highlights! I said maybe next time, since I was always dying it red. “Red is the first thing I thought of,” she said, which was odd since only a moment ago she’d been suggesting caramel, but I appreciated the sentiment and told her so.
Up until last night I was going to say that I was really enjoying the kickassitude of my new hair, and the fact that eliminating this one major signifier of femininity had totally eliminated the unwanted and unpleasant kinds of male attention one tends to get on the street once women start wearing skirts and men remember that OMG Legs are a Thing…. But of course last night during the 10 step walk from my front door to the purveyor of cheap ice cream sundaes next door some jackass in the drivethru had to make kissy noises. I was going to storm over to his rolled down window and give him a piece of my mind, but then for a second there was no line and I really wanted a sundae so….
The thing is, I am Really Enjoying the kickassitude of my hair. I enjoy quoting O Brother Where Art Thou to myself every morning as I “get my coiffure in order” and insist that “I don’t want Fop, dammit, I’m a Dapper Dan man” because though I’d never used pomade before, I kind of love how it has replaced my blowdryer and various hold-hair-in-place-implements. And when I wear just jeans and an undershirt and my sneakers out to run errands, especially when I put on my rock star sunglasses… I experience a very pleasant feeling of invisibility because nothing about me is reminding even the construction workers around the corner that “Hey, here’s a Woman-type who’s outside and therefore must Really Want Our Attention.” And I know I look awesome with it. My cute choir conductor said “Brava.” So things are good.
Also! Vitamin D! It is amazing!! It feels like someone put the third wheel back on my Tricycle of Life when I remember to take it in the morning. I bought some when I was killing time before rehearsal and started taking it mainly so I could assure certain family members who kept telling me I should take it that it didn’t work…but it works like a midafternoon strawberry surf rider from Jamba Juice pickmeup…and it lasts all day. Unlike the 24 oz of sweet sweetness that cost $6.35 across the street and lasts about 20 minutes.