Welcome to the SAG awards!

Meryl Streep (Jeff Bridges, George Clooney, Colin Firth zomg I loooove you Morgan Freeman, Jeremy Renner)

Aged P will be thrilled, Jeff Bridges won.

I love that Meryl Streep gets to decide when we listen to teleprompters. I would totes listen to her. What is Meryl wearing? A kimono? I’m ok with it.

Can an actor really be someone’s stand-in for 50 years?? What if they made nothing but really really stupid movies?!?

Warren Beatty – Outstanding Female Actor in a Leading Role: (Sandra Bullock, Helen Mirren, Carey Mulligan, Gabourey Sidebe, Meryl Streep) 

(Sidenote: How have I not heard of The Last Station?! James McAvoy needs to keep me in the loop)

Ok, with all due respect for Sandra Bullock who I love very much, this is HORSE#$%#. There is no way that her role in the racially and classically paternalistic even if based on a true story Blind Side was half as significant as Precious. Hmph. Tim McGraw’s an actor now? Fine.

Her speech is my aaaabsolute favorite though. To her husband "You get dressed up in monkey suits and sit at tables with people you don’t know, and I leave you there….You’re so hot, and I want you so much!" 

George Clooney to wrap it up.

Lollerskates @ his Betty White comment – she looked around the room to say "I’ve worked with many of you, many even had a few" and George has corroborated her claim. She’s apparently a bobcat in the sack.

Anyway, Best Ensemble in a Picture – Basterds, Precious, An Education, Hurt Locker, Nine

Basterds. Big ol meh. Tarantino’s forehead is out of control. Sooo not a fan.

Good night all!

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Morgan Freeman – Female Actor in a Supporting Role (Penelope Cruz, Vera whaserface from Up in the Air, Anna Kendrick, Diane Kruger (the light FonTasTIQue), Monique

Did I never tell y’all how awesome I thought Nine was? Ridiculously awesome.

Monique!!! This was such a fantastic role for her. She wasn’t promoting it at first, I think maybe because she didn’t like the coverage she was getting? Maybe she was busy with her awkwardsauce show. Cuba Gooding Jr is putting himself back in the spotlight by being Captain Chivalrous – did you guys notice him scooping up Betty White’s award and taking it to her? And now being the stair squire? 

I’m not sure why Monique is making this speech like it’s something new and decisive she’s doing. She’s onstage to thank people. I’m really glad she thanked the child actor who played Mongo. Kudos.

4 lovely ladies from Nine…. Marion’s dress is great until it hits her hips. I wish it had a skirt. She should take Drew Barrymore’s extra one. Nicole Kidman is wearing some sort of Egyptian looking thing.

Moar awesome ladies plz.

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O Hai Sigourney. People’s sleeves are out of control this year, for the record.

In Memoriam aka People I Forgot (again) How Much I Missed

(Jean Simmons, Sister Sarah)
Natasha Richardson
Dom Deluise
Brittany Murphy
Ron Silver
Farrah Fawcett
(I wish my name was) Gale Storm
Michael Jackson
Karl Malden
Bea Arthur (GREAT clip from Mame)
Patrick Swayze

so sad, as ever.

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Anna Kendrick and Stanley Tucci presenting Outstanding Female Actor in TV movie or Miniseries (Joan Allen, Drew Barrymore, Ruby Dee, Jessica Lange, Sigourney Weaver)

Anna Kendrick is adorbs. I want her to take over the world eventually. And present me with my lifetime achievement award at some point.

Drew Barrymore! I still need to see Grey Gardens- it’s in the queue.

Unforrrrrrtunate Jetson skirt. That dress would have been great without it, or with tiered versions of it. Buuut her speech is cute. Good call – talk about the guild, and your family, and your cast…there we go. She’s got her sea legs now.

Sidenote: Some members of the SAG must be awful, right? I mean, there must be some terrible actors that just get a lot of work because they look like a million dollars.

Well hello 3 cute guys I wish were a band so I could get a poster and scream at your concerts. Oh The Hurt Locker‘s intro. Ohhh that velvet suit is a hot mess. Why did nobody sign their outfits out with me? At least it’s different.

Jon Hamm and Michelle Monahan – Someone stole one of her sleeves. And spray painted on the rest of her dress.

Mtastic "He looks like he’s going to blow something up – look at his eyes! Very shifty"

(Kevin Bacon, Cuba Gooding Jr, Jeremy Irons (he of the awkward intro and "Epic mustache" -mtastic), Kevin Kline (terrrrrible Cyrano), Tom Wilkinson)

We’re giving Kevin Bacon awards now, people. Adjust your expectations accordingly. He also gets the award for weirdest jazz walk onstage. Nice little speech tho.

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Oh, I love it when they bring industry execs out. It’s like your dad coming down during your first boy girl party to ask if you’ve got enough soda. Like, Geez dad, soda’s not the POINT right now.

The room doesn’t look that great to me. The actors in it, on the other hand…..

All those awardwinning writers in the place and nobody could come up with decent lines for this guy? Or a celebrity stand-in?
Anybody out there call into the telethon? My friend Sarah did and talked to Ewan McGregor. I would have died. I would have been a dead person. And forgotten to donate any money. So it would have been a lose lose for our future hypothetical children.

Is the military taking time out to watch the SAG awards? Really? Is this a good use of satellite resources?

Hint: If you’re making an acronym for your organization, avoid things that rhyme with Nazi. Just a tip. Free from me to you.

I’m sure all those suffering in Haiti really appreciate that a room full of millionaires are thinking of them.

Sandra Bullock in some sort of 80s revamp sparklefest. I happen to like sparklefests. But not her hair. Her hair looks like my hair right now. And I didn’t have a stylist to make it that way.

Betty White’s Lifetime Achievement Award

hahaha – Betty White makes us all look like slackers, Sandra’s just the first one to say it on TV.
Ha – Four "The Betty White Shows" – "most people would stop naming shows after themselves after the first 3, but not Betty."
This is good writing. Golden Girls FTW.

This whole montage is too cute – She was such a BABE – who knew?
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Hamm help me, I’m definitely going to see the Brenden Fraser/Harrison Ford movie. Also, I don’t want lipstick that reshapes my lips every day – call me crazy. No, don’t. Because I don’t like it, that’s why.

Basketball games should definitely be more like music videos.

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Who is this? Ah, Carey Mulligan She’s super cute. I should really have seen "An Education," clearly. And I should listen when they announce her name. How come my parents never encouraged me to apply to Oxford? Yep, more of my Dickensian childhood comes to light. (You know, if my childhood had been like Little Dorritt I don’t think it would have been that bad)

Chris O’Donnell! Where have you been since you cut off those gorgeous musketeer curls, again? Wait, what? It was a wig? *ahem*

Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble Cast in a Drama: (Madmen, madmen, Mad Men, and Madmen. (The Closer, Dexter, The Good Wife, TrueBlood (aka Bandwagons R Us) and did I mention Madmen?

WHooo- Madmen! FTW! Best cast EVAR. Seriously, when each individual character can carry an entire episode if necessary, it’s time to reward them for it. I want to marry that show. And have its hard-drinking, suit-wearing fedora-sporting foundation-garment-lacing children. It’s taking them an awkward amount of time to get up on stage, which is always fun.

Jon Hamm’s actually taunting his son-actor for not having a beard. Nice. Now everyone’s going to have one next year. Ha- he was going to make the same comment that Jane Lynch made about Glee’s crew and stopped himself midway. Smoooooth.

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Half of Felicity H Muffman and Alec Baldwin! This bodes well. Aww…I love live TV.

Female Actor of a Drama series: (Patricia Arquette, Glenn Close, Mariska Hargitay, Holly Hunter, Julianna Marguiles, Kyra Sedgwick.

Sucks when awesome women get lackluster series’ …. and I kind of refuse to believe that any one law and order spin off stands out from any other one. Oh, except that there’s a woman cop on this one to deal with all the dead women who are victims?

A friend of mine from high school guested on The Good Wife, so I’m happy Juliana Marguiles won – and landed on her feet. ER was a better launching board than Seinfeld, apparently.

Weeeeird dress. Extra strap? MIssing strap? Velvet is an unfortunate choice, in my humble opinion…. Nice speech – Josh Charles gets a double-dip. Good – more people should know he’s around. Aw, we’re outing the parental dorkiness. She’s super glad her parents call her after every show and stay involved in her life. Except they weren’t proud of Snakes on a Plane. *snort*

I’m sure my parents would watch every episode if I were on TV. Except only one of them even bothers to read my blogular thoughts..so may be note.

Jenna Fischer and Benjamin Bratt, bearing champagne – Male Actor in a Drama Series (Simon Baker aka the jerk from The Devil Wears Prada, Malcom’s Dad, Michael C Hall wearing an unjustifiable hat, Jon Hamm and Hugh Laurie

Pleeeeease let this be Hamm’s year? Cranston’s won it every other time!!

Augh. Michael C Hall. Being rewarded for his unfortunate hat choices. UNFORTUNATE HAT. There, I said it. It has been brought to my attention that he has cancer and I’m a jackass.

Also, I don’t get Dexter. It grosses me out. And not in the way House and Bones do, even though I always sit down to watch them with a plate of food, displaying a sad lack of pattern recognition skills. *sigh* 

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Yeah, definitely reassure alcoholics that if they pace themselves with water, they’re drinking responsibly. Goood plan, Bud commercial.

Also, this preview for the latest Find Love And Clear Skin romance has been recut at least 3 times – at first it looked like this kind of cute Nu-Only You. Now it looks weird. Cute cast though – Gooch from Scrubs + RomCom, even if she’s only the sidekick, is a plus.

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Yay for Precious! Yay for people of color and various sizes as presentors. Gabby Sidibe is terrific. Monique was unrecognizeable in Precious – in the best possible sense.

It’s kind of awkward having people from the movies talk about their own movies, no? I guess it makes more sense than having Unrelated Actors Pronounce Things Wrong. Like at the Oscars.

I never did post my review of Precious – it took me time to recover from seeing, honestly. It was so powerful.

Welcome, Helen Mirren! 

(Nicole Kidman looks good – love her with red hair again, and curls)

Best Male in a Supporting Role: (Matt Damon, Woody Harrellson, Christopher Plummer (also in What The Hell, the Movie), Stanley Tucci, Christoph Waltz)

Ooh, Decade in Review type intros…love it. I’m feeling very nostalgic. Ten years ago I was a freshman in high school, y’all. Feel old? You prolly are. Tough break.

It’s rough when I have no idea that your movie was a thing, Woody.

Captain Von Trapp FTW, PLZ? 

I couldn’t have watched Basterds anyway – Ryan the Temp from the Office would have distracted me incessantly. That audition must have been weird.

(Oh, Christoph Waltz won, btw – I hate Acceptance Speech As Metaphor For The Craft of Acting)

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(I hope you’re all enjoying hitting refresh – I’ll keep the most current stuff at the top and try to repost after every award or commercial break. Whichever comes first. Or last. If I get distracted. Did you guys see Jon Hamm? I wish I had cable for the red carpet stuff, also.)

(In commercial related news – anyone have money down on whether Channing Tatum or Amanda Seyfried is the one that dies in the latest Nicholas Sparks novel-movie? I’d say the army guy, but he’d like that too much)

(I have just persuaded Mtastic to come over and snipe in person, so expect this to get 10X more awesome in about 45 minutes 🙂

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What happened to my childhood dream BFF Anna Paquin? Where did she go?!?!

Best performance by a female in a comedic series: I like Toni Collette but I’m not really into the United States of Tara….I do like Edie Falco. She rocked it on 30 Rock. Quiet and Mean are my people too. TINA FEEEEEY. I love all these funny ladies. I wish they were my neighbors.

And I totally want to try that life jacket move next time I’m on an airplane.

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Reliable source Mtastic Roommate tells me Captain Accent is Christopher Waltz. I’d forgotten Inglorious Basterds was part of this year’s awards.

(I may be blogging highlights of our gchat later)

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I’ma liveblog it until I get bored…I’m also doing "research" for my Oscar party this year. Last year my mom did an awesome party with best-picture nominee snacks, and Foodie Roomie and I are going to collaborate.

Aw, JT and Kate Hudson. They should duet later.

Best Actor in a comedy: Alec Baldwin had this as a lock, just like I thought. No idea why 2 and a half Men is on the air. At all. Ever.

ZING – "I’m really not thrilled to get an award from Justin Timberlake."

Anyone else notice Shirona was back on that Monk clip? The show took a nosedive when she left….I’d watch it now that she’s back. If my mysterious cable allowed it.

Wait, another negotiation? I can’t take another strike-stricken season!!!

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