Maybe I should make a venn diagram…

Of the things I hate and love about my morning commute in the winter, beads of sweat forming in the small of my back when I’m all bundled up for outside and don’t get a seat on a hot train until 34th street is the worst, and now walking by the park with my new UberChristmasPlaylist is among the best. So, basically what I’m saying is, the only thing I like more fervently than I hate those transitory temperature shifts, is this playlist.

You can get The very Best Christmas Selection (50 songs!) from iTunes for $10, add that to David Archuleta’s ridiculously cherubic Christmas from the Heart, the Judy Garland and Pat Boone songs I bought last year, Stephen Colbert’s "Another Christmas Song," Brian Stokes Mitchell’s concert with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir (in which he sounds like he’s belting full out the entire time…yum), AND Broadway Cares Home where something as wonderful as Alan Cummings and Liza Minnelli singing "Baby It’s Cold Outside" happens….

..and it’s downright festive in my earbuds. Ok, that sounds dirty, but you know what I mean.

I’m very partial to traditional hymns and the cheesy upbeat 40s-50s-60s recordings because they at no point feature a celebrity leading in to "Silent Night" with "ooooooohs" and "mmmmms" and arpeggios and blue notes no upright English carol composer could countenance. They also do not begin with sparkling chimes by default, or conclude with jingling bells when the song is not Jingle Bells or Sleigh Ride.

Seriously, when I’m extremely famous and my adoring public clamors for a Christmas album, they’re going to get exactly what my family gets – me sitting at the piano singing all the verses as written with the occasional choral arrangement (Gigantor has discovered his voice this year, so I have high hopes) or jazz chord thrown in (if it’s a poppy one – I wouldn’t pull that crap with "The Holly and the Ivy").

Also, I have no problem singing hymns about the nativity, but until Bing Crosby and the Andrews Sisters scarred me for life this morning, I had no idea "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" had a verse about Santa knowing we’re all God’s children, and let’s thank Jesus for Christmas presents or something. On my FutureHypotheticalChristmasAlbum, I will either be singing about Santa OR using euphemisms for the Virgin Mary in any given song – there will be no twofers or crossover between the sacred and the secular.

Unless…. you don’t think….. Rudolph?…… no, no, we’re cool. …. Probably.

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