The following was Gigantor’s response to the Honor Code essay prompt on one of his college applications. I’m sure you’ll agree that they’d be crazy not to take him. And of course, crazy once they had him.
The Honor System And My Benefits From It
There is nothing I love more than systems. Ask me to join a group, I won’t be happy if there isn’t a charter. Forming an organization? There had better be checks and balances if I’ll have any part of it. I try to apply these basic standards of organization to every aspect of my life. The day I get to form a League of some sort will be a grand one indeed, but until then I just have to fight for the little victories.
One triumph of organization I’m particularly proud of is my appointment as Chancellor of the High School It’s Academic (the inter-school quiz-bowl) team. No sooner had I taken office than I established the It’s Academic Senate and ordered the creation of a budget sub-committee to investigate venues for the application of our funds. Unfortunately, not all of life can be so bureaucratic. Most people don’t understand the fundamental importance of a complex division of all tasks into squads, teams, and gloriously titled positions. When I read the Honor System constitution for ThisCollege, however, I knew that I had found kindred spirits.
I believe that I had got no further than Section 3, Article 2 of the Honor System (detailing the creation and duties of the Honor Investigator) than I fell in love with the writers of the System. What a concept! Heretofore in my life discipline and character were simply left to the masses to execute. Although certain modes of behavior could be banned or penalized, there was hardly any framework as such to oversee the execution of justice, to guarantee the perdition of the dishonored. [ThisCollege], however, has provided a bridge out of the inane chaos of non-bureaucracy to the hope of a 16-member pan-class Honor Council (overseen by a duly appointed Honor Council president).
ThisCollege feels as I do the need to regulate with Byzantine efficiency the turning of every wheel in society, and, furthermore, realizes the importance of words like “Investigator” and “Appellate” when describing job functions.
I would benefit from ThisCollege’s honor code because I would be operating in an environment where people loved bureaucracy and due process for its own sake as much as I do. My creative energies could finally be loosed in pursuit of that ultimate goal: the complete regulation of every human action and the establishment of multi-word titles for every task currently undertaken by man. My self-confidence would soar as my joy at the classification of minutiae was finally encouraged by the Institution of my education. I would finally find real and lasting happiness, having found the only corner of the world that had embraced itemized lists more quickly than I had.
That is how I would benefit from living under the honor system at ThisCollege.